about death...life...etiquette

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about death...life...etiquette

Post by IG Team » Sat Jun 18, 2016 11:11 pm

Nemesis

actually i was wondering how japanese react to death and life....i mean what does one do in a funeral, in birth, is there a "ritual"?

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Re: about death...life...etiquette

Post by IG Team » Sat Jun 18, 2016 11:12 pm

bebemochi

They say that Japanese are "born Shinto, married Christian, and die Buddhist."

The rituals for early childhood are all derived from Shinto practices--namely, the baby is brought to a Shinto shrine to be recognized by the kami (anyone have more info on this? I don't know much about it.) and there is a special day when three year-old girls, five year-old boys, and seven year-old girls visit a Shinto shrine in kimono (Shichi-go-san.)

Often Japanese have weddings that are based off of Christian ceremonies.

Funerals are done in the Buddhist style. I can't really go into detail, because the one funeral I went to in Japan was a rare Shinto0style funeral. Maybe someone else can fill you in more.

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Re: about death...life...etiquette

Post by IG Team » Sat Jun 18, 2016 11:13 pm

Musashi

There's also the "Becoming of Age Day", when boys and girls who reach their 20th year of life, visit the local shrine in January (this year it was the 9th). It's their official passing into adulthood. But... it's not following our calender (just as an example Maeda Aki, who turned 20 last July had her Becoming of Age Day this January; Ueto Aya, turned 20 last September, had hers also this year). I actually forgot the exact date, and I can't seem to find it anymore, but it's somewhere between April and March, everyone who becomes 20 within April of (just example) 2005 and March of 2006 will have the Becoming of Age Day in January 2006.

Concerning etiquette, I noticed that business cards are usually handed over and are taken with two hands, which reminds me a lot of how swords were handed over and taken (except for a very high ranking person who would always hand over or take a sword with just one hand).

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Re: about death...life...etiquette

Post by IG Team » Sat Jun 18, 2016 11:13 pm

LtDead

I saw a baby being taken to Itsukushi Shrine on Miyajima. (I can't imagine how much THAT would cost!) The family all knelt in front of the priest (or as my Japanese religious studies teacher INSISTED we call them, saceredotal official. ... priest is easier to type). The priest held... I believe it was a stick with those pieces of 'holy paper' on it. (It was either that or a branch, it was a long time ago). He waved it over the family while changing. Then the miko brought sake over and everyone drank. That's all I saw.

I also saw a priest blessing a family and their new car, once. :D

A few tid bits about funerals: Japanese hearses are incredible. They're black, of course, but the entire back half is a giant, gold-gilded shrine/temple. I DESPERATELY want to get a picture of one.

One of my teachers' grandfathers passed away, and she missed school to go to the funeral. The school apparantly sent a representative to the funeral. When you go to a funeral, I've heard you always give money to the grieving family. Because someone from the school came, the school gave her money. Because they gave her money, she had to return that in some way.
So, after being absent, and me not knowing any of this, my teacher comes to school with a box of omiyage cookies. So I asked her the logical question. 'Oh. Did you go somewhere?' Her response? 'No. My grandfather died.'
Your grandfather died... So you brought cookies to school?! Boy was I confused!

That's about the extent of my knowledge. Sorry.


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Re: about death...life...etiquette

Post by IG Team » Sun Jun 19, 2016 6:12 am

Chidori

See if you can rent "The Funeral" or "Ososhiki" by Juzo Itami (same film). http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089746/
It's an older film, but it shows the entire process of a japanese funeral from cremation to prayer to burial, etc. It's a hysterical film and the director often is poking fun at some societal foible, in this case, how the japanese attend funerals and perform the rituals without understanding the significance of the rites, etc (they watch a video in the beginning that explains to them what to wear, how to act, how much $ to give, etc). I don't know how old you are, but there is a bizarre sex scene in the middle (I don't remember it so well- I don't think it was graphic at all, but it was weird) so just be forewarned.

I just have to put in a plug for Juzo Itami- he was a great director and actor. I highly recommend his films (haven't seen them all obviously, but I liked the ones I did see). Tanpopo, The Family Game, and Minbo no Onna were all great.

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Re: about death...life...etiquette

Post by IG Team » Sun Jun 19, 2016 6:14 am

Musashi

LtDead wrote:
Because someone from the school came, the school gave her money. Because they gave her money, she had to return that in some way.

I only say... giri is a *****I just totally typed a naughty word for a female dog!*****...

As for Becoming of Age Day...
Maeda Aki at hers:
Image

Ueto Aya at hers:
Image

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Re: about death...life...etiquette

Post by IG Team » Sun Jun 19, 2016 6:14 am

hibana

After the actual funeral, they have more stuff later. I believe at 7 days following, and then another event at different amounts of time later. (did that make sense?)I attended a 39-day-post-funeral thing on Awaji island, and it was a big deal, with 2 different temple services, something to do with throwing omochi down a hill over your shoulder :? drinking at a local drinks-and-snacks sort of place near the temple (the monk got plastered), another ceremony at the home of the deceased in the alter room of her house (everyone chanted at that one, not just the monk- it was several hours long- everyone was waiting for him to pass out) and then a formal banquet of entirely too many courses held at a local... banquet hall place (I forget what it was called). Apparently serving too much food to eat was hospitable, and the guests were given take-out containers to bring it home so none was wasted. The guests brought money envelopes to the family again, and were given gift bags with expensive goodies, apparently about $200 worth. (that was about half as much they were supposed to have given the family- cost of the baquet was the rest)

The woman who died was a matriarch with (I believe) 4 sons, one of whom had taken over the family tatami factory, which was right next to their house. His son, in turn, had just gotten married, but was not living with his wife yet- she was living with her new mother-in-law, learning how to manage a household and all the proper etiquette that went along with it. The couple was very cute, like shy teenagers even though they were in their mid-20s. I do not think the marriage was arranged. Has anyone else heard of this arrangement?

Sorry for rambling... :oops:

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Re: about death...life...etiquette

Post by IG Team » Sun Jun 19, 2016 6:16 am

chamekke

a couple of pages with detailed photographs of those extraordinary Japanese hearses:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hearse
http://www.hearse.de/pics15.htm

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